xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
