Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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