....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
wow bdsm is so cute
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
