I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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