well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
