I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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