Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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