U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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