Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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