I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
