I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
