How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
