I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
