Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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