Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
