It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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