I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
These tits shall not be calmed
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
