Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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