a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
