I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
