I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
