I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
