I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
