you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
