Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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