I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
