every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
