batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
