she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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