STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
