you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
