Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
