sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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