Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
