She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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