literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
