I just saw a hot homeless man
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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