so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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