its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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