Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
