do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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