Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
