Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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