the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
