these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
