my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
