I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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