the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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