he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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