I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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