Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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