Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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