you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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