you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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