I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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