she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize