weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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