So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
